Jokes Database

Here are all the jokes in our database: 😂

50 files found.

ID	Setup	Punchline
2	How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?	Ten-tickles!
3	Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?	It was udder destruction.
4	Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?	Because they're so good at it.
5	An IPv6 packet is walking out of the house.	He goes nowhere.
6	My older brother always tore the last pages of my comic books, and never told me why.	I had to draw my own conclusions.
7	Why do pirates not know the alphabet?	They always get stuck at "C".
8	How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?	1 or 2? 1... or 2?
9	What do you call a girl between two posts?	Annette.
10	What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant?	About 5000 miles.
11	Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days?	Dunno, they're just a bit shady.
12	Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who?	Bless you!
13	What did the ocean say to the shore?	Nothing, it just waved.
14	What did the beaver say to the tree?	It's been nice gnawing you.
15	Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane?	They mostly wrap.
16	How do you make holy water?	You boil the hell out of it
17	I started a new business making yachts in my attic this year...	The sails are going through the roof.
18	Why did the A go to the bathroom and come out as an E?	Because he had a vowel movement.
19	How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?	Oh, it's a really obscure number. You've probably never heard of it.
20	A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks...	'Can I join you?'
21	Bad at golf?	Join the club.
22	Why do chicken coops only have two doors?	Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans
23	Can I watch the TV?	Yes, but don’t turn it on.
24	The punchline often arrives before the set-up.	Do you know the problem with UDP jokes?
25	What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?	A stick.
26	How do you comfort a designer?	You give them some space... between the elements.
27	What time is it?	I don't know... it keeps changing.
28	What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?	An irrelephant.
29	What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?	They will give you a piece of your mind.
30	Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches?	They have no hands to knock on the door.
31	Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?	In case he got a hole in one.
32	Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?	Because they might peel!
33	What’s Forest Gump’s Facebook password?	1forest1
34	What do you call sad coffee?	Despresso.
35	What's brown and sticky?	A stick.
36	Did you hear about the hungry clock?	It went back four seconds.
37	What do you call a fake noodle?	An impasta.
38	Why did the cookie cry?	It was feeling crumby.
39	A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?"	Pop,goes the weasel.
40	Why do bees have sticky hair?	Because they use honey combs!
41	Why did the developer go to therapy?	They had too many unresolved issues.
42	Why don't you find hippopotamuses hiding in trees?	They're really good at it.
43	Why did the functions stop calling each other?	Because they had constant arguments.
44	What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?	A tuba toothpaste.
45	I saw a nice stereo on Craigslist for $1. Seller says the volume is stuck on ‘high’	I couldn’t turn it down.
46	Want to hear a chimney joke?	Got stacks of em! First one's on the house
47	How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?	Let's go ride bikes!
48	Why are skeletons so calm?	Because nothing gets under their skin.
49	I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.	I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
50	Why can't bicycles stand on their own?	They are two tired
51	Knock knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who?	I didn't know you could yodel!